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Internets.   
07:14pm 26/01/2008
 
mood: bouncy
I've finally got my own internets here in London. YES! I will no longer be reduced to begging for my warez/pornography on the streets!

It also means I can use my wonderful, lovely, sexual Xbox LIVE on the gorgeous, sleek, erotic Xbox 360 my brother got me for my birthday. My Gamertag is, erm, 'Jessica Padkin'. Add me to your flist if you want to destroy a n00b at Halo 3. =(
 
     [ 8 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Facts About Jessica!   
01:48am 30/05/2007
 
mood: happy
Here are some things you may or may not know about me:

• My full birth name is/was 'Jessica Ruth Padkin-Taylor'. I sort of gradually dropped the Taylor over the years, but I plan on replacing it with something else eventually...

• I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.

• I have a (pretty rare, in the UK at least) microdermal piercing.

• I am a huge fan of Red Dwarf and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, to the extent that I honestly feel that they actually affected me growing up. However, I absolutely despise RD series 7 and 8 and the HHGG movie.

• Likewise, I am still (and probably always will be) a massive and downright obsessive Sonic the Hedgehog fan, despite the fact that I don't really like the new games.

• I have a scar on my head (obscured by my hair) from when my sister threw a bible(!) at me.

• I have frightful tinitus, thanks to years of listening to headphones at insane volume. Thankfully, I don't notice it most of the time.

• I had nine pictures printed in Sonic the Comic (as far as I know, more than anyone else!). They were all awful, and I stole the poses from Garfield comics for most of them...

• I like to name my computers. My current machine is called 'Bishop'.

• I absolutely have to vote in every election I can. I didn't vote in an European election once, and as a terrible consequence (in my mind, anyway) my MEP is(/was?) Robert Kilroy Silk. Since that day, I vowed I would never miss my chance to vote ever again.

• My birthday is the 5th of November, bonfire night. In my opinion, I could not have been born on a better date.

• I suffered from clinical depression for several years, for a time so badly that I had trouble leaving the house.

• I am fascinated by robots, and AI in general. I really, really hope that I live to see robots that can converse with human beings.

• The first video I ever owned was volume one of 'The Trap Door', the absolutely awesome claymation cartoon. The first film I ever owned was The Beatles' 'Yellow Submarine'.

• I really like cyber fashion. Some of my favourite designers are Futurstate, S.D.L., Cyberdog (I don't like some of the tacky new rave stuff, mind) and Lovebomb.

• I am sexually submissive. I used to think that this was something to be ashamed of, in a way, but I don't any more.

• I'm very liberal and I try to be a philanthropist but, God help me, I just generally find most people really annoying. =(

• Probably the first game I ever loved, I mean really loved, was the original Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back arcade game (I had the port they made for the Amstrad CPC 464, incidentally the first computer I ever owned). I still think this is an awesome game.
 
     [ 7 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
   
10:12pm 17/05/2007
 
mood: happy
Well folks, I've got meself the job at Sega for my placement/internship next year. Woo! I get the feeling a few of my tutors are disappointed that I 'settled' for a lowly testing job rather than going for a position in 3D art, but:

1) ALL of the actual games studios I've talked to have told me it's extremely unlikely any company would take on students for an art placement, no matter how talented they were. Most only do programming placements, and many are unpaid. Besides, I personally don't feel I have enough experience to be a full-time 3D artist yet. In two years I'll be able to build up a much better portfolio for when I start looking for a proper job.

2) One of my good friends from uni is going as well, which'll make it easier to get settled in.

3) I wanna live in London. I know it's freaking expensive (I will be in a shared student flat though), but it'll be an interesting experience in itself.

4) I want to meet Dr. Robotnik.

In other news, I'm desperately trying to get back into drawing on a regular basis. I've got several ancient commissions that I've been needing to finish for ages now, some of them over a year old, seriously. Gawd. I think I need to set tighter deadlines for myself; whenever I get commissions that need to be done in a week, I bloody well get them done. However, when the, um, commissioner tells me to take as long as I like, I do just that. Muh.
 
     [ 5 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Boring Hair.   
11:45pm 28/07/2006
  I finally took my braids out a few days ago. I feel naked. =(

R.I.P. (until I can find someone to put them back in):

 
     [ 5 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
A Challenge...   
12:11pm 02/06/2006
 
mood: chipper
Is there perhaps a brilliant person out there who could help me with an animated GIF problem?

All I want to do is get this image below 40kb so I could use it on LiveJournal:



Is it possible? The problem is that it repeats several frames at the beginning, but it saves these as new frames. I have no understanding whatsoever of how animated GIFs work, but is there any way to save it so that it actually repeats frames a certain amount of times before showing the next frame? Or is there just a good way of compressing it without taking a massive hit in quality?
 
     [ 5 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
It's a Fish.   
12:52am 19/12/2005
 
mood: happy
HELLO.

I'm back for the christmas holiday. Uni is going very well indeed: applying for this course was the best decision I ever made. I love Huddersfield, I love my uni chums, I love my work and I love the fact that I'm not a shy gibbering wreck anymore. It's strange, some people have commented on how I seem like a different person, but really I feel I'm more like the person who I've always wanted to be.

Anyway, enough of that crap, I've got a video of my first 3D work that you lot may be interested in:

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/padkin/Padkin_Jessica_F1.avi

Alright, I know it's not great, but hey-- it's my first ever 3D model/animation/environment! I got one of the top marks for it too (only two people scored above me, and they'd used 3D Max before). So, well, I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out.

The only thing that really annoyed me was that I couldn't get the fish to actually accelerate, it could only move at constant speeds... hence why it seems a bit jerky at points. I asked my tutor, but apparently the only way to do it is with MaxScript. BAH.

So.. how are you all?
 
     [ 12 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Two Weeks of Uni   
09:50am 30/09/2005
  Well, I'm back home for the weekend after doing a week my of my Games Design degree at Huddersfield University (as well as the fresher's week before that). I don't know how things will change as the workload increases, but so far I'm absolutely loving it. There is a LOT of work and skills to develop (the timetable is actually more packed than the one for my Engineering degree was), but it's so much fun! On Wednesday we had a four hour session in the concept design module that basically involved discussing our favourite games and what makes them so memorable. It was fantastic! Finally learning 3D Studio Max, Flash MX and the like is great too.

Most of all, I'm so relieved that I managed to make friends so quickly. I was worried my shyness would be a huge problem for me before I started, but it really is refreshing to be around like-minded people (one of my lecturers and one of my classmates are fellow Treasure worshippers, hahaha). I've only ever been able to have huge conversations about games with my brother before, and it's the thing I'm absolutely most passionate about.

The one thing I do really miss, though, is internet access. Even though I've found similar people to talk to in 'real life', there's no way I'm going to forget my online pals, ever. The broadband connection in the halls of residence is actually pretty cheap, so hopefully after christmas I might be able to pick up a cheap-ish computer. It'd be really useful for learning 3DS Max and the like too without having to use the uni computer labs all night, anyway.

I'm going back up on Sunday (on the sodding boring-as-hell coach), so if anyone wants to keep in touch, I do still check my email (jessicapadkin@ntlworld.com) periodically.

Finally, I've been told to pass this on: http://www.nightsintodreams.com/NiD/forums/index.php?showtopic=726
 
     [ 3 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
The Winds of Change   
10:46pm 19/08/2005
 
mood: jubilant
Ladies and Gentlemen, today marks the end of an era.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the fabulous sexy Robotnik animation that has served me well over the past year (or so), the EggThrust:



Well, I've decided that it's time to put this wonderful icon into retirement and replace it with a fresh new model. I've been using a large version as my avatar on Sonic CulT for some time, but I think I'd rather like to introduce him to LJ as well. Feast your eyes on... the treehump.



Enjoy, my friends.

By the way, did anyone else notice that they've replaced the Neo Geo in the cafe in Eastenders with a Virtua Fighter 4 machine?
 
     [ 7 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Commission Artwork.   
11:30am 05/07/2005
  New artwork for Lemondrop, winner of my FurBid auction.



Comments/critiques?
 
     [ 5 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Community Pimpin'   
01:28am 18/06/2005
 

Do you like hot, sexy robot porn? Of course you do. Who doesn't.

_robosexuals_


Set up by myself and goggalicious!
 
     [ 1 insolent fool | dare you question me?! ]
 
Daily Dev   
08:40am 04/06/2005
  Not sure how it happened, but:



Yay!
 
     [ 8 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
New artwork.   
05:49pm 05/04/2005
 
mood: irritated
I'm quickly losing my patience with DeviantArt, so I've decided to try showing my new art here as well. The problem is, I'm REALLY looking for critiques and genuine opinions on my stuff at the moment, and all I ever get on DA is mindless "not bad" comments that aren't bloody useful or interesting in the slightest.

What the hell is up with that? People will only ever take the time to nitpick and find flaws in masterpieces made by professionals. I'm not suggesting that any artwork is above criticism, but it's obvious when a picture looks 'right' and is clearly done by someone who knows what they're doing. It's also obvious when it's blatantly flawed and done by someone who is clearly struggling (like me) and could actually BENEFIT from thoughtful criticism. The 'Advanced Critique Encouraged' thing is absolutely bloody useless too.

While I'm on a rant, never draw anything that contains a reference to the XBox in any way, lest ye be subjected to four thousand "LOL XBOX IS BIG!!!" jokes.

ARGH.

Anyway, here's the pic:

 
     [ 18 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
General Whining   
10:29pm 20/03/2005
  Sorry about this post, it's fluff. I can't be bothered to write this entry in proper English. I just have a few worries I need to get off my chest.

Well, I start a Games Design degree at Huddersfield University in September. Obviously I'm glad to have sorted out a course in something I am deeply passionate but I can't help but fret about certain things.

For starters, I'm terrified about money. I have, oh, £1700 in the bank and a previous uni loan of £2300 or something. I'm unemployed at the moment, but IF I manage to land a job between now and September, I MIGHT just be able to raise enough money to cancel out my debt, leaving me with a grand total of £0 to my name when I start uni. Yeah yeah, I'll have another loan, but I am the type of person that HATES being in debt. It scares the hell out of me.

I'm so angry with myself at the fact that I've been out of university for 3 years and have earned so little. Hell, I haven't worked since November. I should've put more effort into getting another job, but... eh. The days just seem to fly by, and I find it hard enough to find the enthusiasm to get out of BED and face life at all some days.

Secondly, I just don't have confidence in my art. My offer at Huddersfield was unconditional, but artwork IS an important part of the course. I've considered doing an Art Foundation course first, but that would mean yet ANOTHER year before I start my course.

Finally... I just can't but feel too damn old. I'm 22, and I have achieved nothing, I have no money to my name, and I'm ONLY JUST starting uni. I know it's daft and, hell, it's probably just another bout of depression and I'll feel better in the morning, but I feel like I've failed already.

Edit: For those who have played KOTOR 2 and desperately thought it should have had a Bao-Dur romance option, look at this (WARNING: you might want to use headphones. The end bit is very... racey):

http://www.sundell.net/~bcowley/baodur.html

I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
 
     [ 8 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Please be safe, G!   
11:15pm 25/01/2005
 
mood: artistic
Greetings, my fine pimp-ass hoes in the hood or somesuch! I have a tentative proposition that some of my fine artistically-inclined chums may be a bit interested in, should I take it further.

Well, I've been reading a few fan-produced comic anthologies (doujinshi for the propa l33t) lately, and I'd really like to give it a go myself. I was thinking a Sonic the Hedgehog or general Sega compilation. What I'd need is a few black and white short comics or pin-up type images from any artists who'd like to contribute. They wouldn't have to be absolutely top professional quality or anything, and the content could be anything at all from thought-provoking emo stuff to the usual gag strips (not hentai, mind). These would be actual physical comics to be sold over the internet, but obviously it would be non-profit.

I'm not expecting much of a response really, but let me know if you'd be up for this tomfoolery.

Additionally, I recently made the decision to return to university. I've applied to several Games Design degree courses, and I've so far had one unconditional offer from a nearby college. I'm very optimistic about the future.
 
     [ 7 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Just a quickie.   
01:10am 05/12/2004
 
mood: chipper
Laconic as always.





For a mobile phone game!

On a similar note, it's unlikely anyone will be interested but...

I'm looking for people I can show my newest comic scripts/pages to and ask for advice/opinions etc. You don't have to be a good artist or critic... I just desperately want to show someone! I don't really have anyone who is interested in seeing my ideas and knows about my main project at the moment. I REALLY want to show someone, partly because I could desperately do with a confidence boost right now. =|

KOTOR2 in Feb. Apparently it's even better than the first game. Goodbye, life!
 
     [ 6 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Just thought I'd say...   
11:52pm 19/10/2004
 
mood: happy
I am now officially NO LONGER OVERWEIGHT.

Yesterday, the man known as the buml0rintroduced me to QRIO. I love robots. I long for the day when I can meet a real walking, talking intelligent robot. Seeing this little guy in action... it made me realise that MAYBE that isn't such a far-fetched dream at all. 10 or so years ago, those 'Seven Dwarf' robots were considered the cutting edge. Now you can buy more complex robotic toys than that in shops. Sniff.
 
     [ 3 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Thought for the day.   
11:15pm 21/09/2004
 
mood: hopeful
Has anyone ever noticed...

The people who lie the most are the worst at it? I rarely lie to people, in fact I'm often brutally honest, but when I do have to, I know how to do so convincingly and can cover my bases so as not to cause hurt in the future. The pathological liars, those who practically invent their worthless existence around petty lies, reel their idiotic lies off without the first thought of what might come later.

The sad thing is, many of these people think their victims actually fall for their crap. Heh, I've known many an unstoppable hyperliar beast, and in every case as soon as their back was turned everyone would stop humouring them and have a good laugh at their expense. All intelligent people can see through a phony a mile off.

The act fools nobody. If you're one of these liars, the chances are your 'friends' know exactly what you're doing, and are playing you as much as you are them.
 
     [ 2 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Meatbags.   
04:28pm 05/09/2004
 
mood: thoughtful
Listen with wonder to my collection of memorable Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic sound clips! (mainly HK-47, my spiritual leader)

I've been thinking about going to university again recently. I'm just not sure what I want to do, and I want to make absolutely sure I make the right choice before committing myself. There's always one of those games design degrees, which would be close to what I WANT to do, but eh. Money is a serious problem, and if I did one of those courses I'd have to live away from home. Why are student loan calculations performed on how much your parents make? How many people's PARENTS pay for university for them?

Besides, is it too late? Realistically, at 21 am I just too old to be considering university?
 
     [ 7 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
The Red X   
03:33pm 03/08/2004
  This is a stupid question but...

Is this image:



... Copyrighted to anyone (ie Microsoft)? Could you legally replicate such a simple image?
 
     [ 4 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Wow.   
04:03pm 23/06/2004
  Yesterday on EastEnders, the snake slide collapsed.

Just like in Theme Park!

Is there now going to be a square patch of rubble in the middle of Albert Square that nobody will ever be able to build on?
 
     [ 2 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Bristol Comics Con   
05:52pm 22/05/2004
  Never mind my previous whining, I have ordered a coach ticket to Bristol for the comic con. APPARENTLY the place I arrive at (Marlborough bus station) is about a 15 minute walk at the most from where the con is, so I'll just get a taxi or something. Unless someone else could meet me there? I dunno.

I hate the trains so much. It costs £37 to get to Leicester from London now (SINGLE journey, not return). What the hell?
 
     [ 1 insolent fool | dare you question me?! ]
 
   
01:51am 17/05/2004
 
mood: sad
I have dropped my lip stud many times. This time, I believe I have lost it for good.

Bollocks!

Update: I spent a short amount of time searching on the floor, and I have not found my oral adornment. I have, however, found a number of ball bearings of the exact size and appearance. WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME, LORD?
 
     [ dare you question me?! ]
 
THE ULTIMATE IMAGE   
03:54am 13/05/2004
 


+



=




dean_r is fantastic!
 
     [ 7 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Dean made me this icon after I requested it...   
02:49am 10/05/2004
 
mood: horny
THE EGGTHRUST!
 
     [ 12 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]
 
Wow.   
01:47pm 04/05/2004
 
mood: determined
Halfway through my working day today, I walked out of my job.

I'm sick of being underappreciated, underpaid, overworked and MASSIVELY underchallenged. I really needed out of that ghastly, soul-crushing place or I'd end up there forever. So I just didn't bother going back in after dinner. Ha!

My agency rep was a bit annoyed that I hadn't told anyone first, but I think he understood. He's offered me a job somewhere else when they get work... but I AM going to send some of my art out and look for a better job anyway. Even a minimum wage office job would be better. I have 5 A-Levels, I KNOW I'm smart and I KNOW I'm imaginitive. In a way, I'd rather be unemployed or a starving artist than waste my life in a place where I will never, ever be happy. Even if it takes me months to find a decent job, I've got £3000 stagnant in the bank. I'm not going to DIE, I've got enough money to keep me going for a bit.

So yeah, I think I'm feeling brave today.
 
     [ 6 insolent fools | dare you question me?! ]